by Jan MacLean
Bonjour, je m’appelle Allie LeBlanc. No Man. It’s Jan MacLean back from making jet engines in Halifax to write Scenery again. Thanks to Andrew, Trevor and especiallyGeoff for taking over while I was gone. It was alright living in Halifax for a while, but just like anywhere else, you get pretty used to it. Highlights included the new concrete bowl, a million skatespots, great concerts, good weed and some cool guys to hang out with, like Scotty D., Dave Priest and Colin.
By the way, Colin is as good as Dirtboy. Imagine trying to keep up with thise guys. Yeah, actually, it was pretty damn fun, what with mine and Chris M.’s apartment being a stopover for all kinds of trashy people. Jeff Delong made our couch smelly from sleeping on it for 2 months.
Cool to see everyone home again, too. I was snowboarding at Martock around December 12. Got out about 4 times. When I was driving home I left another snowstorm, but by the time I hit the Cape, there wasn’t a single little piece of shitty side-of-the-road brown ice anywhere.
This winter sucks. Ben Eoin is trying really hard though. Our park is finally open after being thwarted by bitch-ass Mother Nature about 100 times. Andrew Yorke and Shawn the Groomer Guy came through with a pretty nice park, even if nothing else is going our way. Notice B.E. is a little slacker on jumping? Or are we being more careful? Either way it’s a good thing. Only people who are actually banging little kids and old people off the runs are getting busted. That’s the way it should be, I think. If you’re safe, do what you want. Get a spotter, maybe your girlfriend. Sooner or later she’ll get into it and start jumping herself, which is good too.
Since STS went out of business, many people are realizing how much the Capers and those guys got along. We always partied together and stayed with them, but now the rest of the dorks won’t even tell us there is a contest circuit. We missed 4, count them – 4 contests in one weekend because of those big meanies. 2 slopestyles and 2 park/pipe contests in January. I don’t even want to compete against people who are too stuck-up to call us lowly Capers.
When STS was around, this wouldn’t have happened. I suppose we’ll start up our little park contests again this year. Now they are fun. Just friends busting out for some poopy t-shirt or hat that’s been kicking around Alternative Sports’ floor, all dirty and gross.
OK, HERE’S A FUN GAME to play at special parties where everyone is alert, active and really freakin’! STEP ONE: punch your buddy in the head. STEP TWO: yell “shot to the gob!”. STEP THREE: brace yourself. STEP FOUR: take it like a man. When you crack your friend in the head and yell “shot to the gob!” he can’t get mad because he automatically gets to hit you back for free! So be prepared, if you’re giving, you’re gonna get. Shot to the Gob! is best played at surprise moments, when no one is expecting it. Pick your own targets for your group of friends. The biggest person is best. Little guys are no challenge.
GOOD HAPPENING STUFF – Al MacLean bought a Pontiac Tempest. It’s sweet, welcome to the club… Harry Dolye joined another club recently – MANHOOD. Congrats!! … Full Colour, Whiskey II and TWS Volume 2 ISSUE # 1 are all incredible movies out this year … those Satanic beer with the Hell-canoe are 9% and you can’t even see through them. Mmmmm, beer … Digger is re-united and changed line-up again … Ever hear of some company called Rewind? No, me neither … Mike Morrison finally got a new board and MJ started snowboarding for real. About time for both of you … 80 million snowboarders at the hill.
BAD STUFF – That Lee Guy with the green van better “get the heck outta dodge!” … Smokey has very little snow-making so they are suffering big time this winter. Especially with that expensive new chair … quit ripping those guys from Baddeck, or Big Pond, or wherever. They’re pretty cool and they build nice jumps. I know of one person who was mouthing off at one of those guys. Everyone looks the same size in those big baggy clothes, don’t they? You almost got a big surprise J.M.D. but he let it slide. Lucky for you … there hasn’t been a nice jump yet as of writing this, so there is obviously no one going off, unless I get to judge who lays the nicest heelside carve on solid ice with 2 inches of overhang. Until then, I’ll go off a little. Frying off a gram in the car and then trying to snowboard pretty much really sucks. All you can do is f/s 180 no grabs. You look stupid and feel stupid about yourself. You get pissed and then feel like shit much longer than you were high. It was fun last year, but not anymore.
